Chapter two of Forgiveness: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Get on With Your Life” by Sidney B. Simon, and Suzanne Simon. Before I delve into the steps of healing that will lead to forgiveness the authors recommend I explore how and who has hurt me.
top eight hits on the ‘hurt’ parade—disappointment, rejection, abandonment, ridicule, humiliation, betrayal, deception, and abuse
So, Fairabnks pretty much checked all those off. Family, religious leaders, and the justice system were sure to put nails to close away and burry my hurt coffin. But wait! There’s more!
As I explored what happened to my children, I started seeing patterns in my own life.
What horror, to realize that my entire life, I have unknowingly attracted people would disappoint, reject, abandon, ridicule, humiliate, betray, deceive, and abuse me.
How could that be? Who were these oppressors?
- None other than:
- friends and friends of family
- ecclesiastical leaders
In other words, those closest and most vital to my survival.
I’m betting that if you carefully review this list you’ll be able to check off many similar hurts as well as hurt-ers.
If it happens to most of us why does it matter?
The way we adapted to hurtful circumstances served us at the time. The adjustments we made in attitude and behavior helped us survive. Problems have arisen, however, because many of us still think and act the way we did back then—even though it no longer serves us and may even hurt us now. This last statement, which applies to any way we were hurt by anyone, is why what we have done and continue to do because we were hurt has made a difference in our lives. What kind of difference? The next chapter answers that question, giving us a glimpse at the walking wounded all too many of us have become.